Adapt or Be Thirsty

I'm kinda tired of the whole "When life hands you lemons; make lemonade" thing.

It seems like such an easy thing for people to lob over the emotional fence at you when they can see you struggling, and they WANT to appear concerned, maybe even helpful...but
just....can't.....quite.....figure out how.

It should be simple, right ? Lemons + You Doing Something = Lemonade !! Insert visions of tall cool ones, butterflies, shade trees and joy.

Well the truth of it is....unless you have made lemonade before, you have no earthly idea of what to do.

And the truth behind THAT is.....wait for it...... It doesn't really matter WHAT you do...as long as you do SOMETHING.

Survival is about adaptation and adaptation is about effort. Effort is about making the decision to invoke change through action. The action must come from you. Wanting change isn't enough. You must set your intention that you will allow yourself to change and start making incremental efforts to do so. Small moves.... they count. Bigger ones when you are feeling that you can take on bigger challenges.

You may not like the first batch of lemonade you produce...or your 6th.......or even your 42nd. But by then, you will have adapted so well to making efforts on behalf of positive change that you will at least have a fair idea of what you don't want in your lemonade. You will begin to discover your own recipe.

If you are the kind and helpful sort, you might even offer it up to someone else as a starting point when you see them struggling.

Balance

The single most valuable advice I have received regarding living a full, allowing and loving life is to seek balance.

Notice I did not say, to FIND balance. What I am learning, is that balance, when prepared for, will come.

So how does one, prepare for balance?

Be present to your life as you are living it in each an every moment. Be awake and aware of what you are feeling. And when the feelings come...acknowledge them....recognize them for what they are....feel the fullness of them, and then, simply let them go as you move along to the next thing.

Case in point....I find myself still pulling into my driveway...positioning my car in such away so that there will be room for another. It is a long standing habit, based on a long term relationship of sharing the driveway with my partner and his car. When I recognized this evening that I was still "saving space" for him on the driveway; I was shaken. Did this mean I was denying the end of the relationship? Did it mean I secretly wanted him to drive into the driveway , rush through the front door, and tell me this is all a horrible mistake ? Does it mean that I am afraid to start a new life detached from him ? I sat in my car with the engine off and felt......horrible for a few minutes. That such a little thing, this unconscious act, could have potentially so much emotional baggage attached to it.

So there in my driveway, with plenty of room left for the car I know will not park next to me,I felt my breath catch in my chest, and my heart give a little pinch. " This is a sad moment for me" I said to the steering wheel...feeling the loss of the relationship keenly as I sat there. I let my mind explore the sadness of it...neither rushing nor directing the thoughts. And after a few minutes....I noticed that my breath was more normal...the tears that had come to my eyes did not fall to my cheeks....and my heart was still beating. I sighed and opened the door, stepping out into the sunshine; feeling its warmth on my shoulders...feeling connected not only to the sadness of the moment, but at the same time, a hope for happiness to find me as well.

Balance.
It is, everything.